Exploring, “The Shack,”- 16- A Morning of Sorrows; Big Forgiveness

I think this chapter’s discussion on forgiveness is worth the price of the book alone.  More than that, it’s probably one of the best, most real discussions of forgiving those who’ve hurt us in a bad way. 

So often we talk about forgiveness in churches, but we don’t acknowledge the process, how hard it is, or give people a helpful way to walk through something that is difficult.  I think the word “process” is what’s most helpful here.  You can say you forgive a person, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you feel it right away and that’s ok.  Rather than summarize in my own words what this book says, I’m just going to let little excerpts speak for themselves (I jump around a little to keep things shorter than the actual book).  The context is that Papa finally confronts Mack with the hardest topic imaginable, not just forgiving God or himself for Missy’s cruel death, but even the man himself who did it.  Listen to these powerful words.

Mack- “Redeem him?”  “I don’t want you to redeem him!  I want you to hurt him, to punish him, to put him in hell!”  His voice trailed off.  Papa waited patiently for the emotions to ease.  “I’m stuck, Papa.  I just can’t forget what he did can I?”

Papa- “Forgiveness is not about forgetting, Mack.  It is about letting go of another person’s throat.” . . . .

Mack- “I just forgive him and everything is okay and we become buddies?” Mack stated softly but sarcastically.

Papa- “Forgiveness does not establish relationship.  In Jesus, I have forgiven all humans for their sins against me, but only some choose relationship.  Mackenzie, don’t you see that forgiveness is an incredible power- a power you share with us. . .”

Mack” I don’t think I can do this”

Papa “I want you to. Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver, to release you from something that will at you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly.” . . . .

Mack, “I do not love him.”

Papa, “Not today, you don’t.  But I do, Mack, not for what he’s become, but for the broken child that has been twisted by his pain.  I want to help you take on that nature that finds more power in love and forgiveness than hate.” . . . .

Mack, “So does that mean that if I forgive this man, then I let him play with Kate, or my first granddaughter.”

Papa, “Mackenzie, I already told you that forgiveness does not create relationship.  Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible.  When you forgive someone you cretainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.” . . . .

Mack, “Help me, Papa.  Help me!  What do I do?  How do I forgive him?”

Papa, “Just say it out loud.  There is power in what my children declare.” . . . .

Mack, “So is it all right if I’m still angry?”

Papa, “Absolutely!  What he did was terrible. . . It was wrong, and anger is the right response to something that is so wrong.  But don’t let the anger and pain and loss you feel prevent you from forgiving him and removing your hands from around his neck. . . Son, you may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely.”

Wow, that’s some good stuff.  Read through it again, and reflect on what it means for you. Are there any people in your life to whom you need to apply these words?

Tags: forgiveness, The Shack